How to throw up when you're eating out

I am so happy that I have nothing to complain about. It has been a long time since I�ve had nothing to complain about. People say I�m acting weird and paranoid. It causes me to wonder, but right now I�m a happy panda. I could be annoyed that when I was unhappy and perhaps even depressed no one gave a shit. Oh well, I lived and so will your mom.

I enjoy speaking ex cathedra, I�m good at it and I�ll start.

What to do when you are going to vomit at a restaurant:

If you�re going to go out to eat don�t drink Ice Tea. If you�re eating out with me, don�t let me drink it either. I will try and order it but don�t let me. If the waiter brings it, take it away. Poor it on the head of waiter for not listening to you when you said, �don�t bring this to him.�

Find out where the bathroom is. Look around and find it, map out two or three routes to it. Colonel Thomas told us that about exits because he nearly died in a terrorist attack during the Viet Nam Conflict. Anyway, know how to get to the bathroom.

If it happens (and if you�re me it will) go right away. Don�t think about it, run damn it. I sat there and thought about it and ruined a sweater. That makes me mad.

Handicapped stall, you want the handicapped stall. Why? You can brace yourself on the railings and not have to touch the actual toilet or the floor. You don�t know what�s on that floor and the railings are stainless steel. Usually clean and safe but I guarantee nothing.

Don�t fight it; it has a mind of its own. It�s getting out of you so you might as well let it. I blew the blood vessels in my eyes and it�s ugly. Hurts like hell, don�t try it.

Don�t tell anyone that you threw up make something up. First, no body really cares that you threw up. Second, it�ll ruin everyone�s fun time. You don�t want to do that.